Fail.

Funny cuz it's...

true.

Hombres Necios

This almost makes me wish I had caucused for Clinton instead of Obama.

We've all heard those polls that say Obama beats McCain in the general but McCain and Clinton are tied, right? According to this article, the lion's share of that difference is men. They'll vote for Obama for President, but as soon as you swap him out for Hillary Clinton, they vote for McCain. WTF? Not shocking, but annoying as hell.

You'll also notice in the article that there is no corresponding shift among women voters between Clinton and Obama in the general election. A voting bloc that makes up 51% of the population who has never had a member of their group in the White House supports both candidates about equally. God forbid we cede our 200+ year political winning streak to these subversives.

I'd like to take this opportunity to, once again, apologize for the stupidity of my gender.

Three Way

Not long ago in a bar not very far away, a funny thing happened. You see, I was chillaxing with a couple of charming ladies whom I think are approximately 14x cooler than me. So far so good, right? Well, one of them, let's call her "Elana," was intrigued that I had one of these "blog" things. After I explained things a bit, her keen intellect grasped the opportunity before her. Before I knew it, she had offered to triple my revenue by joining forces and guest blogging on the Toaster. The other girl, we'll call her "Meshawn," agreed to be in on the action. Meanwhile I'm multiplying zero times three in my head.

So, ladies, I've sent you your invitations. Let's see what you've got. Elana & Meshawn, time to pony up. I think my entire fanbase would agree that the world is awaiting your debuts in the blogosphere with baited breath.

Caucusing instead

Tonight I caucased for Obama and said goodbye to a girl I'm a big fan of. I spent more time with Obama. He better not fuck me on this. Right now I'm drinking at Precinct 533's favorite bar, Gabor's. So here's to bad timing and may it leave me be.

Screwed by Bad Timing

Sunday Blues again. Tonight I'm worrying that I don't invest myself enough in my friends. Like maybe they think I'm kinda "meh" about them sometimes. Hopefully some of them know that's not the case, I'm just good at being my dad (biodad). So I've been reading all of their blogs and re-realizing how cool they all are. I'm thinking about something else too, but not yet ready to blog about it.

Anyway, here are some shout-outs to some of my friends who might read this (in no particular order):

• Dan: I miss you buddy. You've only been gone for the weekend, but I've been wishing you'd been here the whole time. Everything's less fun when you're not around.
• Crystal: I hope you move to Denver. I feel like you and I are kinda similar in that we make people work at getting under our thick skins. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. ;)
• Drew: You should also move to Denver, though I feel like that's a more remote possibility, so I'll content myself w/ regular visits. My favorite thing about you is that you're less afraid to wear your fears on your sleeve than I am. I'm jealous of that.
• Will: I like that we've reached a point in our friendship where we can cuss each other out in a totally joking manner, but still reveal just enough biting truth that it keeps us from getting too full of ourselves. I hope you know that I respect and admire your opinion. I'm not always good at making that apparent in the moment.
• Mari: I think you and I have a funny friendship where we make subtle gestures to remind each other that we're BFF but otherwise play it cool. So here, I'm making it official: You're one of my favorite people ever and I love you like a sister.
• Shelley: I sometimes worry that you don't realize how smart and kick-ass you are. Srsly. Both personally and professionally, you have your shit so together it makes me feel like a huge slacker sometimes.

Perhaps obviously, I could post one of these for each of my friends (and family, for that matter). But I think that's the bulk of my readership on here (thanks for sticking w/ me through the dry spells). If you run across this post and feel sad because you're not mentioned above, let me know and I'll add yours to the list.