Fail.

Funny cuz it's...

true.

Hombres Necios

This almost makes me wish I had caucused for Clinton instead of Obama.

We've all heard those polls that say Obama beats McCain in the general but McCain and Clinton are tied, right? According to this article, the lion's share of that difference is men. They'll vote for Obama for President, but as soon as you swap him out for Hillary Clinton, they vote for McCain. WTF? Not shocking, but annoying as hell.

You'll also notice in the article that there is no corresponding shift among women voters between Clinton and Obama in the general election. A voting bloc that makes up 51% of the population who has never had a member of their group in the White House supports both candidates about equally. God forbid we cede our 200+ year political winning streak to these subversives.

I'd like to take this opportunity to, once again, apologize for the stupidity of my gender.

Three Way

Not long ago in a bar not very far away, a funny thing happened. You see, I was chillaxing with a couple of charming ladies whom I think are approximately 14x cooler than me. So far so good, right? Well, one of them, let's call her "Elana," was intrigued that I had one of these "blog" things. After I explained things a bit, her keen intellect grasped the opportunity before her. Before I knew it, she had offered to triple my revenue by joining forces and guest blogging on the Toaster. The other girl, we'll call her "Meshawn," agreed to be in on the action. Meanwhile I'm multiplying zero times three in my head.

So, ladies, I've sent you your invitations. Let's see what you've got. Elana & Meshawn, time to pony up. I think my entire fanbase would agree that the world is awaiting your debuts in the blogosphere with baited breath.

Caucusing instead

Tonight I caucased for Obama and said goodbye to a girl I'm a big fan of. I spent more time with Obama. He better not fuck me on this. Right now I'm drinking at Precinct 533's favorite bar, Gabor's. So here's to bad timing and may it leave me be.

Screwed by Bad Timing

Sunday Blues again. Tonight I'm worrying that I don't invest myself enough in my friends. Like maybe they think I'm kinda "meh" about them sometimes. Hopefully some of them know that's not the case, I'm just good at being my dad (biodad). So I've been reading all of their blogs and re-realizing how cool they all are. I'm thinking about something else too, but not yet ready to blog about it.

Anyway, here are some shout-outs to some of my friends who might read this (in no particular order):

• Dan: I miss you buddy. You've only been gone for the weekend, but I've been wishing you'd been here the whole time. Everything's less fun when you're not around.
• Crystal: I hope you move to Denver. I feel like you and I are kinda similar in that we make people work at getting under our thick skins. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. ;)
• Drew: You should also move to Denver, though I feel like that's a more remote possibility, so I'll content myself w/ regular visits. My favorite thing about you is that you're less afraid to wear your fears on your sleeve than I am. I'm jealous of that.
• Will: I like that we've reached a point in our friendship where we can cuss each other out in a totally joking manner, but still reveal just enough biting truth that it keeps us from getting too full of ourselves. I hope you know that I respect and admire your opinion. I'm not always good at making that apparent in the moment.
• Mari: I think you and I have a funny friendship where we make subtle gestures to remind each other that we're BFF but otherwise play it cool. So here, I'm making it official: You're one of my favorite people ever and I love you like a sister.
• Shelley: I sometimes worry that you don't realize how smart and kick-ass you are. Srsly. Both personally and professionally, you have your shit so together it makes me feel like a huge slacker sometimes.

Perhaps obviously, I could post one of these for each of my friends (and family, for that matter). But I think that's the bulk of my readership on here (thanks for sticking w/ me through the dry spells). If you run across this post and feel sad because you're not mentioned above, let me know and I'll add yours to the list.

Political Journalism an oxymoron?

Here is a very interesting article on political journalism and why it sucks so badly. "Yawn," you may be thinking, "I've read that one before. Several times." You're potentially right, but give this one a go.

The point, once it gets there, is that political journalism shouldn't focus on who is going to win, but on who should win. An excerpt from the end of the article:

"[T]he job of the campaign press is not to preempt the voters' decision by asking endlessly, and predicting constantly, who's going to win. The job is to make certain that what needs to be discussed will be discussed in time to make a difference - and then report on that."

Damn skippy. The article starts out by claiming that the media is a mindless beast that does horse race political coverage because that's what everyone else does. It then starts to make the case that "expertise" in this field (namely, predicting political outcomes determined by voters) is dubious at best. This dovetails interestingly with a book I read recently called Super Crunchers that pretty much debunks all form of human "expertise" where it concerns analyzing data and making predictions based on that (and instead claims that machines can make much more accurate predictions, so we should let them do the predicting while we spend our brain cells on more creative, humany things like imagining what else we could have machines predict for us).

Combining these two perspectives, one could make the case that not only is horse race political journalism bad for democracy (in the sense that it pretends to predict outcomes but actually ends up unduly influencing them), but it's also a job much better left to number crunchers than so-called political "experts" who are terrible at it anyway. How many points was Obama supposed to win NH by, again? That would then free up real journalists to cover real issues and where candidates stand on them. Imagine that.

Morey Middle School is a Drug-Free Zone

1,000 words, indeed.

uncov = douche

I recently put uncov into my feed reader at the suggestion of some friends. I found it mildly humorous at times. But seriously, homeboy is a douchebag that mostly pisses me off. So I'm calling it: uncov = fail.

Apparently at uncov it's a rant-worthy occurrence when a woman blogs about programming but not über-geekily enough for Ted's liking. Lame post here.

Keep churning out those oh-so-clever "LOLZ!!!1! FALE!!!!one!!" Photoshop abortions, gang!

Possible Explanation for Clinton's Victory in New Hampshire?

Apparently in counties where hand-counting was used, Obama won. Guess what brand of voting machines the other counties use? More info available here:
http://politics.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/01/10/1635225

Denver election results

As I'm about to go to bed at 10 minutes until 3:00am on Election Day (technically the morning after), the local news sites are abuzz with the news that the Denver Police (including the SWAT team) have been called in to help count. Apparently, the turnout in Denver was around 47%. To put this in perspective, the last time the turnout was just barley above 40% was when a critical tax measure was on the ballot (in 2005, Referenda C & D were the hot button issues on the ballot all over the state as they proposed to temporarily overturn the Libertarian-foolishness that is TABOR). The conventional wisdom was that this election would have a turnout between 30 and 35%. Not even close.

This turnout is remarkably higher than anything those in the "know" were expecting for our fair city. Why?

I have some theories. First, I think the youth vote (18 - 35) will have played a big role in this election. Secondly, I think every age demographic has turned out more than the pundits expected. The reason being that they wanted to vote for the mayor's civic improvement initiatives (A-I). These common sense property tax increases (which amount to peanuts for Denver property owners) will enable our city to stop being penny-wise and pound-foolish and actually keep our civic infrastructure (museums, libraries, cultural facilities, etc.) up to snuff. Mayor Hickenlooper rules. Funny name, serious mayor.

So the verdict will be (you heard it here first) that young people care about their beloved Denver and that everyone in this fair city wants to see it blossom. This is what democracy looks like.

I <3 Trains...

...and so do all of you, apparently. (If by "all of you" I mean the 4 people who regularly read/comment on my blog + the random interlopers I recruited w/ my direct e-mail campaign.)

It seems like the train idea is the big winner overall for birthday ideas. I couldn't be happier about that outcome. I was afraid everyone would shoot that down since I kinda assume I'm the only "train buff" in the group. Usually train buffs (don't you love that term?) are retired old men who play with model trains in their garage. Oh to dream.

However, there's a fly in our double steel railed ointment: The scenic trains in Colorado are amazing, popular, and thus not cheap. The Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad (the crème de la crème of scenic trains, IMHO) costs $65 a pop. Now, I would happily pay this again and again to ride this train round trip from Durango to Silverton through one of the most beautiful parts of the generally not-ugly Centennial State. I realize, though, that this may be a little rich for some others' blood. (Or am I, yet again, underestimating the extent of everyone's closeted train buffiness?)

There are cheaper options too. Such as the Royal Gorge Railroad, which while not a steam train, still looks wicked awesome. It costs $30 per person. Sadly the Georgetown Loop Railroad is closed for maintenance, or that would be an excellent option. It's close to Denver and a steam train.

OMGWTFLOLZBBQ!!1!!one!1! I just went to the Georgetown Loop site, and it's running again! w00t! This train costs $20 per person. If we're planning to go on Saturday, October 6 (which seems like the best option) we should probably book our tickets now. And hey, if we get 20+ people to come, there are group rates! ;) I think we found a winner.

What do you guys n' gals think?

3 Cubed

On the fifth day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand, nine hundred and eighty, a baby boy was born. That boy had a destiny. But on the way to that destiny, he would turn 27. 3³. And this semi-momentous day would occur on October 5th, 2007. Hey, that's not so far away.

So here's the deal, fools. I'm turning 27 on October 5, and you need to be there. If you live within 800 miles of Denver, then there's no excuse. If you live further than that, then there's only a partial excuse^*.

There have been a few ideas batted around for the celebration of this awesome day (some would call it a "milestone"). Here they are in no particular order:

1. Random meats served at the local Brazilian meatery. I eat meat every year on my birthday, and this place has the best of the best (we're talking rattlesnake sausage here kids). It's $38 / person, but you get a red-light/green-light indicator at your table. As long as that pooch is green, you're getting some more meat.
2. 13th Ave. pub crawl. This would entail starting at Pints at 13th & Cherokee and working our way east to Wyman's No. 5 at 13th & Vine. One. Epic. Night. of Drinking.
3. Ft. Collins brewery tours followed by Coopersmith's for dinner. If you've been there, you know.
4. Sushi!
5. Train adventure in the mountains. The Royal Gorge, the Georgetown Loop, the Durango & Silverton Narrowgauge. I don't care, I love 'em all. But a kiss (on the mouth) for anyone who hooks up the steam loco action. Followed by boozing at ye olde mountainous pub.
6. Other (please comment).

Please cleave a comment indicating which party option you prefer. I may or may not take your views into consideration.

^*The partial excuse entails the following caveat: In the event of non-attendance of my 27th birthday, I reserve the right to hold your non-attendance against you indefinitely. For example, if you are invited to Denver at some point in the future but attempt to bail out, I may say something akin to the following: "But you missed my... *sniff*... birthday. (cue puppy dog eyes)" Yeah, that's right. The eyes'll getcha every time.

Kurzweil's brain

Back in college (I know, yawn) I took a class about the broader moral and ethical implications of my chosen field (Computer Science, shockingly). A large section of it was about the future of computer science and what ethical issues we would face if someday we were able to create human (or superhuman) artificial intelligence, for example. During this part of the class, we read several essays written by Ray Kurzweil. The musically-inclined among you may recognize that as a brand name for synthesizers. That's the same guy.

When not inventing synthesizers, Dr. Kurzweil writes about what the future may look like if we continue on our present explosive growth of technology track (not in a pessimistic way, but the things he predicts are pretty wild, so you could interpret some of it in a dystopian fashion if you were so inclined).

I remember one of his most interesting essays that we read was about the nature of the human mind. The idea was that your mind was the software that makes you you and this "You" program runs on your brain (like Mozilla Firefox runs on your computer). Starting from that premise, he says that it's not that crazy to think we could build a little computer chip that mimicked the behavior of a single neuron. They are, after all, relatively simple in and of themselves. You could then take one of these synthetic neuro-chip doo dads and have a brain surgeon replace one of the neurons in your brain with it. Assuming it did its job, you probably wouldn't notice anything weird. You'd go right on thinking and feeling like you were you.

But then suppose the brain surgeon didn't stop there and just kept right on replacing your neurons with synthetic ones. Would you notice a change at any point? In theory, replacing them one at a time, you could even stay conscious throughout the procedure. Eventually, your whole brain would be made up of synthetic neurons. You'd have a computer brain. You could then upgrade that brain w/ more or faster synthetic neurons or copy the "software" (you) onto a different computer (possibly faster, more powerful one).

So then you have some interesting questions to ask at that point. What makes you, you? If you were able to augment your brain to make it faster, able to store more memories, or more accurate memories, would that mean you were no longer human at some level? What about an AI that is as smart (or smater than) a human that we created ourselves? Should it be afforded the same rights that a human would be? After all, if you were to put your mind onto a computer, you'd probably still want basic human rights like it being illegal to pull the plug on you or install Windows on you. ;)

Anyway, my friend Emily and I were discussing these things while I was staying with her in Chicago. I think it kinda freaked her out. Sorry, Emily! :) I found this site, which has all kinds of fun things to make you afraid of what the world might be like by the middle of this century. Just kidding, sorta.

And no, this didn't come up because I'm in Boulder right now. The contact high isn't that good.

iPhones, ski passes, and credit cards

Yesterday The Steve announced that the 8GB iPhone only costs $399 now. When I bought it a couple months ago (early July, to be exact), it cost $599. Yeah, $200 price drop.

The thing is, the iPhone is a 100% gratuitous purchase. I shouldn't have spent 1 penny on it (because, after all, you can get cell phones for free and I already owned an iPod nano). For some twisted reason, that makes the price drop not annoying at all. What's the difference if I blow $600 or $400 on something? It was still a stupid purchase that I totally love and don't regret buying in the slightest. So yeah, if I'd known this would happen on September 5, I probably would have waited. But if I knew when the next-generation iPhone was coming out, I'd probably wait for that too. C'est la vie.

But thanks for your concern, everyone! :)

In other news, I recently also purchased a Winter Park ski pass for this year. Yet another totally stupid purchase that I won't spend one day regretting.

At some point the credit does run out, though.

Marion House Stay of Execution

At the last minute, 11:59pm, Governor Ritter called to cancel the execution of the Marion House. 1311 Marion will continue to be the home of Luke, Dan, Will, and yours truly for the foreseeable future.

However, if anyone moves out, I'm probably gonna push for dissolution of the house. I just don't think I can bring myself to posting a "smokers need not apply" ad on craigslist. Vomit.

Backpedaling

OK, correction time: We haven't yet actually decided to move. I may have jumped the gun a little there.

We have a house meeting on Thursday to discuss our options.

But let's have an informal netroots poll first! Please indicate in the comments your preference among the following options (in the interest of transparency, please fully disclose your affiliation with the Marion House):

1. Move, move, move! The landlord's goin' nazi, the rent's goin' up. Get outta there!
2. Look around, see what else is out there. If you find a better deal, go for it. If not, stay there.
3. It's cool if you move as long as you find Marion House 2.0 w/ equal or greater party-having possibilities.
4. Are you fucking crazy? You can't shut down the Marion House! This is a lot bigger than you, Dan, Will, and Luke now. You don't have the right!
5. Other (please elaborate)

Intro / Sweet Jane

I'm back in Denver, and feeling a little restless. Every time I visit old friends I start feeling this way when I return home. I think it's because I re-notice all the things that I'm not content with about my life.

Don't get me wrong, my life rules. But there are things I would change. Maybe I'll have to blog about that in the future. Though that's not super groundbreaking; everyone feels that way to some extent. It could just be a case of the Sunday Blues.

But, I'm listening to some live Lou Reed, so that's helping. And I am definitely happy to be home for awhile. Denver really is a great town. There's nothing like being away for a week to remind me of that.

I think what may be making the Sunday Blues hit home today is the realization that the Marion House is coming to an end. At first I thought, we're probably moving soon, but that doesn't mean anything has to change. But really it very well could. If we get a smaller place, or a place further from the heart of Cap Hill, or any number of other variables, then it may not be the Marion House anymore. And really, that's OK. I don't hate change, in fact I kind of like it. I think you need to mix things up every once in awhile to keep things interesting. I'm just a little apprehensive about this one because, let's face it, the Marion House rules. Oh well, it will be what we make it.

I've never been able to properly explain myself in this climate

It's so humid in Chicago. I can't sleep. Crystal's post about insomnia finally convinced me to stop kidding myself. There's a bed right next to me, but the prospect of lying in it for a few hours, dripping with sweat, is about as appealing as... well, something that's not very appealing. Analogies are lost on me in this sweltering jungle.

So, here's some random blogging from the dark side of the circadian rhythm.

I saw a bluegrass band the other night at a bar here in Rogers Park called the Red Line Tap. Appropriately, it's right along the red line of the L. I never could tell what people were saying the name of this band was. I'm pretty sure it's either Sexfest or Sexfist. Either way, not something you'd immediately think, "Oh yeah, Appalachian banjo, steel guitar, and fiddle." But wow, these guys were amazing. We're talking old school stuff here. A lot of original material, some Hank Williams, some old gospel songs. These guys are the real deal. I'll get back to you on that name...

One thing I always notice in Chicago is how much more integrated it is than Denver. Some people think Denver's not diverse, which is just incorrect. But I understand why they think that. Denver is disturbingly segregated. Sometimes I want to move out of Cap Hill just to get away from whitey a little bit. But then I think, am I going to hang out w/ these newly discovered minorities? Will they suddenly be my friends even though the young, white, middle class people in my current neighborhood aren't unless they already were for some other reason? Seems unlikely. But who knows, I'll have to give it some more thought...

Speaking of moving. We got a letter from Ed (the landlord) the other day. He says he's raising the rent again. $50 / month increases every 6 months starting in March of next year. $50 in March of '08, $50 in September of '08. $50 more in March and September of '09. Whatevz. Not the first time he's done it, not entirely unexpected, and hey, at least he gave us ample notice. However, the thing that really grinds my gears (bonus points if you instinctively just read that in a heavy Rhode Island nasally accent) is another little clause he added. Apparently, any new people who move into the house have to be non-smokers. That is, not just can they not smoke inside (which none of us ever do), they have to not have the personal habit of smoking. Two of my most favorite roommates are smokers. And you know what? I don't want to live somewhere where they're not welcome. Did we lose a war? Fuck that shit. So I pretty much want to move ASAP. Dan's trying to calm my righteous indignation. He always does that. I routinely get angrier about things that are personal affronts to him than he does. That's how we roll.

I've also been thinking about trying to buy a place. Since that's what the cool kids are doing these days. But all this sub-prime, liquidity, foreclosure rate craziness is freaking me out a little. I don't understand half of it. It just sounds bad. I'm like a crazy old woman when it comes to this stuff. New scary words I don't understand!!! Flee the unknown!! Take comfort in old prejudices, no matter how socially destructive!!! Or something like that... (I told you analogies were lost on me right now.)

OK, time for some more water.

And I'm back. So tomorrow is Friday and I'm going downtown w/ some old friends to eat some gen-you-wine Chicago deep dish pizza at the one, the only, Uno's. Now I know what you may be thinking. You're thinking, "I've been there. They're all over the suburbs of [insert city name here]. It's a'ight, I guess." No, my friend. No. Unless you've been to the orig, THE Uno's in downtown Chicago, you have not had deep dish pizza. It's the flakiest lard-based pie crust ever piled high with layers of cheese, sauce, toppings, more cheese, more sauce. Oh man. It clogs your veins with delicious. I'm pretty pumped (and triple-bypassed).

Overall, Chicago trip is a success. I've seen some good people. Met some new people. Ridden some trains (always a bonus for me). I'm pretty excited to head back to Denver, though.

One last thing (for the extra special friends who've made it all this way): Mark your calendars now for the party of the new, old, and every millennium. Yes, that's right. The LAST PARTY AT THE MARION HOUSE! We're moving sometime next year, probably. So you should just mark all of 2008 (and most of the rest of 2007 just to be safe) as "busy" because sweet Jesus are we gonna party. It's pretty much going to be the greatest thing to occur on planet Earth, ever. And you're all coming. No, seriously, you are.

OK, I'm going to attempt to sleep now. Goodnight friends, may the morning find you happier, wiser, or if nothing else, near a toilet for that wicked morning piss.

Top Gun: Calvin Edition

Calvin videos on YouTube? Oh yes. We are so... white.